Road Trip...WITH KIDS!!

One of my favorite things in the world is a road trip. The open road, the lack of a schedule, it really gives you a sense of freedom.  Well...that was before kids. Now a trip to the grocery store is an all out assault on my sanity!  I'm serious! When we pop in on friends and family for a visit it's like a swat team of noise and toys.  If you've never seen the Cockrell circus up close and personal let me give you a little sample of how we "roll".
    This past summer, my cousin and his wife invited us to go out on their boat down at Lake Cumberland. (About an hour and a half drive for us.) Heather and I accept the invite with more than just a little hesitation knowing that, 1) Driving with our kids is like living in a Twilight episode where time stand stills even though your traveling down the interstate. And 2) My cousin's boat is waaaaay too nice for the "shock and awe" treatment that comes along when the 3 monkeys are really excited...like going on a boat!  Anyway, off we go to make some memories, and admittedly things are going well for the 1st hour. However, as we stopped for our 3rd (yes 3rd pee break) reality started to kick in and here is how it all went down.
    As the van door opens at the gas station, 2 out of 3 are shoe-less and doing the pee dance barefooted in the parking lot while Heather and I dig through the garbage truck that once was our van trying to find the missing sneakers. (Did I mention we are just an hour into it?) Ok, shoes on we bust through the door because, good Lord we've not peed in over 20 minutes and bladers are going to start exploding at any time. I take the twins into the men's room where to EVERYONE'S surprise stands a naked homeless man taking a sponge bath out of the sink. "DADDY! why is that guy..." SHHHHH! Get in the stall,Get in the stall,Get in the stall....As I shove all 3 of us into a one person stall! Now, as I stand there having my shoes hosed down by distracted and very LOUD whisperers of my innocent 7 year olds, I'm trying to think of how we can get out of there with minimal contact with what the kids have now labeled, "Super Naked Man, and his power stink". Well, as luck would have it, the boys and I noticed at the same time a twenty dollar bill drying out over the toilet paper holder. They think they've hit the lottery but I realize that "avoiding" the homeless man is off the table and a "teachable moment" has arisen. Thankfully, as we handed the money back to the guy he had dressed himself and was ever so great-full to the boys for their honesty.
  Back from the bathroom, we decide to grab a drink and from the other side of the store I hear Heather whisper through gritted teeth, "Noah, if you don't straighten up I'm going to wear you out right here and now!" (I told you the wheels came off).
 Anyway, as we all put our goodies on the counter and as the girl starts to ring  us up, the boys notice what each of them have picked out and start what I refer to as shell game of indecision.  It's played by taking one candy up to the counter only to take it back and replacing it with gum and taking the gum back for a sucker all the while yelling, "I want what Scout has, no I want something different, I don't want this, I want what Asher has, followed by NOAH KEEPS COPYING ME!" And if I'm lying about this next part, may I be struck by lighting. The girl quits ringing me up, looks me straight in the eye, motions to the door and says, "just take what you need".  Oooooh no lady, you can't deter this type of chaos that easy! I throw out ten dollars and tell her if that doesn't cover our bill I'll go the garbage truck for more! Needless to say, she was good with that and relieved that this nightmare encounter was almost over....almost.
   We pile back into the van and buckle everyone up as Heather and I look around at the destruction. We see the faces of all the other patrons with looks of bewilderment and smirks and I think to myself...how rude. Well, when they started to point and yell, "YOUR DRINKS ARE ON YOUR ROOF!!!" I realized, they aren't rude....they are just making sure we don't have to come back in the store for round number 2!
  So, if you ever see me white knuckled cruising down the interstate going just a little more than just a little over the speed limit....cut me some slack and get out of my way! I'm on a mission people, I'm making road trip memories with my kids....or just going to the store.

Pets

Pets
  In our neighborhood the Cockrell House  has become affectionately known as the "Green Mile" for pets. Not that we don't love or take care of all God's  creatures, we just have come to grips that it is our role to help them in their transition from this world to the next. To date we have had a hamster, a turtle, a crab, a calf, 5 fish, and as of today 1 stay of exiquiston execution for Duke our 6th attempt at a family dog. Needless to say, he's a nervous animal that longs for human contact. 


  Our latest victim came in the form of Bubbles,one of three fish we purchased as a reward for good behavior for our three sons. As we searched the local pet store for prey, the pet store "dude" assured us that the Oscar fish was virtually indestructible and would die of old age well after the boys go off for college. That was 2 weeks and 1 day ago. As we sat at the dinner table tonight, Asher, the oldest twin asked my wife, "Mommy, what did you do with my fish today?" With this question, a hush fell on what was normally the loudest part of our day. I break the now deafening silence with a booming "everyone  wait here and I'll go check on it," spoken as if I were going to protect them from the unknown forces of evil. Sure enough, we have three little bowls  and only 2 fish. I look around thinking the little sucker has dug a tunnel and escaped only to realize there is a small chair out of place. It has magically scooted incredibly close to the counter where the bowls were placed on the counter top. As I sit back down at the table, my wife looks at me and knows immediately that we have a funeral to plan. To my right sits the twins  anxiously waiting to hear the report from the war front. Obviously, they have no knowledge that death has once again struck, and are  therefore are cleared from questioning. However, straight across from me sits the three year old. I see that his shirt sleeves are wet, something that went unnoticed earlier. He has also developed a sever case of attention defect disease and can no longer keep his eyes FOCUSED on me. "Noah. Have you been playing with Asher's fish," I ask. "Ummm, just a little," he states still shifting his eyes. "Well, where is it Noah? Where have you put him," I continue. "Well dad, I'm not sure" "Not sure" was not the answer I was looking for. "Noah, tell dad what happened to Asher's fish and you won't get into any more trouble than you already are," I say while realizing that more than likely he will. "Well dad, Duke and I wanted to play with the fish but when I picked him out of the bowl he wiggled." "Wiggled?! well son where is he now?," I ask. "Daddy, when he wiggled, I dropped him on the floor and Duke though it was his turn to play with him and I haven't seen him since....you better ask Duke, he might know now."
  Needless to say that with this information tears were shed by Asher then by Noah who had to give his fish to his brother as punishment for killing the other one. As with many nights around our dinner table, we tend to have BIG portions of life lessons and cold leftovers. Our table is small, but what a joy it is to sit down with family each night and listen and learn about each other about our hopes and dreams, our wishes and goals, and yes, our occasional fish killing story.